Cheese and Monkies

I'm back from AZ. It was interesting. My parents never cease to amaze me (or to make me want to run away screaming).

For some reason my father is cultivating a new BO. It's some kind of mix between unwashed armpit, laundry detergent, toes, and goldfish*.

We've also re-opened the debate on turn signals. I think they should be used before turning or changing lanes. He disagrees, feeling instead that they shouldn't be turned on, except occasionally, and several hundered yards after one has turned or changed lanes. He also feels quite strongly that once the turn signal has been turned on, it should be left on for the duration of the journey. Any attempts to change his mind are met with, "Women don't know anything about driving," or "I don't need a back-seat driver." So, I reverted to punching him on the shoulder whenever the incessant clicking drove me to the point of insanity**.

I guess sometimes violence IS the answer.

He also picks his nose incessantly. And breathes louder than any individual I've ever known who didn't have some kind of severe respiratory ailment.

I think it was Dr.Phil who said "You know you've got a problem in a relationship when even the sound of the other person's breathing makes you want to strangle them." Or something to that effect.

My mother... Ohhhh, where to begin? The list it too long. I'll get so annoyed typing it that I'll just start hissing and spitting like a vexed camel. That would be kind of cute, actually...

Anyway...

The puppies were nice. They're still as neurotic as ever, which is reassuring.

I also met some other interesting people in the retirement community (they advertise it as an "Active Adult Community"... which sounds like some kind of swinger's haven if you ask me). For some reason they were all Republicans though. Where do Democrats retire? Or Libertarians?

I think that's enough for today...

*Okay, fine I made up the goldfish part, but it's still unpleasant and horrible to be stuck next to in a car for 4 hours.

**It doesn't take much on road trips, especially if Barbara Streisand has been played repeatedly...