Dear People Who Stay In Hotels

Just because you have earned the a spot in the top tier in whatever hotel chain frequent stayer program you are enrolled in doesn't mean your ass should be kissed. 60% of the people staying at the hotel have the same tier level that you have. So just because you booked a double and your profile says you prefer a king doesn't mean anything. You booked a double. All the other people who booked kings have first dibs. If we're sold out, you're SOL. If I have one left over, sure I'll give it to you, because really, there are better things I could be doing with my time than arguing with you and your retarded pompous ass.

Also, not all rooms are built with mountain views on a high floor. Sorry, architecture doesn't work that way. We try, but seriously, everyone requests that. So, shut up and deal with it. If I could match your preferences perfectly, I would.

PS We do not carry obscure Japanese soft drinks. If you want such things, find some place that supplies them and order them for yourself. You're lucky when we have Diet Dr Pepper.