Oh, Marmeduke...

Against my better judgment (and mostly because I was bored), I wrote back to Marmeduke. It's amazing, not even two letters in and he's already trying to guilt trip me into getting him a US visa. Which won't work, and not just because I have no idea how to go about such things. A visa to Yemen, sure, I know how to arrange that (or at least I know who to call), a visa to Italy, no problem if you like bureaucracy and standing in long lines (although it's much more fun to live there illegally), or even a visa to Eritrea can be arranged (they've got camels on them). But the US? Nope, not a chance. Never having needed a US visa, I wouldn't even know where to begin. Dear Marmeduke doesn't understand this though. And worse, refuses to believe it.

Here is his latest literary masterpiece:

hi : kate
how are you ? for long time i didn't hear such kind of information.allways you have some where to visit[*] .what about your french course[**] .it's seems that you realy lucky .either having the possibilities to travel anytime and everywhere you like . for me up to this moment i didn't get who will hlep me to get the american visa. for that reason i don't have much confidece even over you .how long that will be easy for you to me visa from there ? is that one diffecult? no is not.
thank

*In my response to his first letter I said I was thinking about going to Kyrgyzstan in August, provided things have calmed down over there a bit

**I was in a French class earlier in the year, it renewed my hatred of that horrid, horrid language so now I'm studying Russian again.