Crumudgeon

I have to write about my accounting teacher. He really is the most adorable grumpy old* man I've ever met in my life. And what makes him all the more adorable is how irate he would become to know that he had been described as adorable. I guess the best way I can think of to describe him is a constipated teddy-bear. Cranky yet still entirely cuddly, even though he really doesn't want to be.

Anyway...

He's from New Jersey but has lived all over this area. As such, he's got a formidable accent. This made me giggle the second day of class when he began talking about "historical cost" and pronouncing it "hysterical cost."

My quote of the day today was, "I was supposed to give you a handout but I forgot. Maybe I burned it."

His anecdotes make me want to fall out of my chair half the time. Like when we were talking about "exposures" (in the liability sense) and he brought up a time his wife and her friend were golfing. The friend hit the ball and managed to knock a duck unconscious. This was followed by the "shit happens you don't expect" speech. And then the "sometimes the alligator on the golf course will bite you in the ass, and sometimes it won't," speech. Which we tend to hear at least twice every class.

He also likes to tell stories about a former student of his who was an "enforcer" for the IRS and has now turned into a DEA agent. Apparently he decided he likes guns more than calculators. Can't say I blame him.

And, perhaps you'll find this amusing Essy, he used the word chicanery today. The context wasn't all that amusing (it was used whilst discussing things people do to drive down stockholder influence), but it honestly was the first time I've ever heard anyone use the word. So I did a little happy dance.

He doesn't like the other accounting teachers at the school, especially the "mommies". Mommies being people who have Master's degrees or PhD's in accounting, but were raising kids while he was out doing the books for big companies and other people like his lawyer friend Scongie.

And he really, really doesn't like liberal arts teachers. He nearly had a seizure over the fact that my English teacher was in the room until about 2 minutes before his class was supposed to start. It led to a 5 minute rant on how he thinks it's silly that liberal arts teachers have to stick around and schmooze the students just so they feel loved. Which, she wasn't doing really. We had a paper due and she hadn't be overly clear on the parameters so people were asking for some extra instructions. But, he couldn't be dissuaded from his rant.

It made me want to go up and pinch his cheeks (the ones on his face) and make baby noises at him just because it was so cute, but I didn't think that would have achieved and sort of positive result so I refrained.

Anyway, I think I shall remain amused for the rest of the term and beyond (I have him next term as well). Which is a good thing.

*Significantly out of my dating range