It's Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack...

I heard that KFC commercial for the $4.00 breast meal for the first time about a year and a half ago. And then I heard it again a couple days ago. So, to get back into the blogging side of life I'm posting a bit of an email I sent to a friend regarding said commercial...

"I was just watching Shark Week on the DiscoveryChannel and there was a KFC commercial advertising their new special deal (which can be seen in the subject line[*]). While not exactly as lovely as the moistness of Duncan Hines[**], it did make me collapse in a fit of giggles as I imagined possible ordering scenarios...

Customer: Hi there sweetheart, I'd like a breast meal.

Purveryor of Fine Fast-Food Dining (PFFFD): Alright sir, would that be silicone or white meat? And which two sides would you like with that?

Customer: The silicone was a bit gooey the last time I had it, so I'll take the white meat. With a side of... hmmmm, how about a nice piece of ass, and, uh, a hot pussy with gravy. Yeah, that's what I want.

Or, I suppose one could take it in the lactation sense...

PFFFD: Good evening sir, welcome to KFC. May I take your order?

Customer: A breast meal sounds good.

PFFFD: Would like that for here or to go? To go comes with a complimentary breast pump and bottle. But if you stay here you can get it directly from the tit. You also get to choose if you want milk chocolate, dark chocolate, whole, 2%, or skim milk. We have pictures if you need help with your decision.

I think I have too much time on my hands..."

The rest of the email goes on to detail a defurrification session, the superbness of a forbidden cigarette, doughnuts, shopping for jeans, meeting with a friend of my parents who offered to help me get ahead in my career through rather kinky means***, and the strange but true fact that Dennis Leary wouldn't have been famous if it weren't for British people. It was, all in all, a very interesting day.

*Breast meals only $4 at participating locations!

**Apparently there was a Duncan Hines commercial in the late seventies that had some people at a midwest hoe-down type of event bouncing around square dancing and such and one of the women looks at the camera, flashes a big smile, and says something along the lines of "Duncan Hines keeps me moist."

***He was much to short to even be considered