My Boob!

Wednesday was mostly my least favorite day last week. It started with me getting lost on my way to the dermatologist. Yahoo!maps told me the office was significantly East of Parker Rd, when in fact it was just West. Anyway, once I got there, aside from the peppermints in the lobby things didn't improve very much.

For one thing, my doctor's name was Kevin. I should have taken that as a sign and run away screaming*. I'm having problems with deciding on his nickname. I don't know whether to call him Doogie** because he barely seemed legal, let alone all the way through medical school, or if I should stick with DrCokeHead because the way he was bouncing around the exam room and brandishing the scalpel he had to be on something.

Anyway, the bouncing doctor was not helped by the state of his medical equipment. After he finished sawing off the freckle on my left arm that had been acting strangely, he informed the nurse that he needed a new scalpel because the one he just used was frightfully dull.

Then it was on to the boob freckle.

I had this freckle that started out normal, just a small brown spot on the side of an otherwise porcelain colored boob. But then the bastard decided to start growing and changing shape and color. Because I've been burnt crispy more times than I can count, I pay entirely too much attention to my freckles. I'm convinced they're going to kill me someday. And they probably will.

Anyway, the doctor took one look at the little boob-blighter and declared, "It too must come off!***" Then he gleefully skipped from the room in search of local anesthetic for me and a sharp instrument for him.

Bleeding**** and adrenalinated, I staggered from the office. I would have liked to have gone home and taken a nap, but instead I had a 2-hour sociology class to sit through, and then an exam in cost control. By the end of it the anesthetic had worn off and my nerve endings were screaming. I was not a happy person, but hey, we can't expect every day to be perfect.

*At least he didn't ask for head in the parking lot

**Has anyone seen that new sitcom Neil Patrick Harris is on? I'm not a fan...

***I told you he was a prat

****Under the bandaid