Things That Make You Go WTF?

My evening has been most surreal.

Today is my mother's birthday, so to celebrate we went out to dinner with another couple. We ended up at a restaurant called Venice. It's managed by a Sicilian who looks freakishly like a local news broadcaster, and the head chef is another Sicilian, but from a different city. I know this and much, much more because I was forced to speak to them every time they were anywhere near our table.

For some reason my parents think it's fun treat me like a parrot or small child who has just learned a new word and is therefore fun to show off. Not that speaking in Italian was a completely negative thing, it was just a bit odd to be put in such a position. It did allow me to arrange a complimentary birthday dessert (delightful chocolate profiterols) however, without anyone at the table having a clue as to what was being plotted. So I earned some good daughter points, which are always helpful, especially when one is short on cash.

Anyway, it turned out that our waiter is a culinary student at my school. My mother has gotten it into her head that I should now marry this boy. Don't get me wrong, he was very nice and friendly and adorable in a gregarious curly-haired Italian restaurant waiter kind of way. I just didn't think having my mother ask for his phone number would be the most solid foundation for a lasting relationship. I managed to step on her toe rather harshly before she could utter the phrase, "My daughter would like your phone number." So it's good that I got the good daughter points from the dessert as the toe stomping thing earned me a nice chunk of bad daughter points.

So yeah, we all survived dinner. The drive home was interesting in so many ways. My father, who was driving, has decided experimenting with new and exciting ways to make passengers scream is a delightful thing to do after dinner. Missing stop signs is one of his favorite new tools. Hydroplaning when taking a turn to fast on wet roads seems to be quite popular with him as well. And, of course, the old "I don't need to use a turn signal, ever," trick that he's so fond of.

My mother contributed to the interesting ride by being even more difficult to follow (conversationally) than usual. Some people (Beaky*) have random and strange conversational patterns, but there is some underlying logical pattern that one can usually pick up on. My mother lacks this. I think she just forgets what she's talking about midsentence but doesn't let that deter her from continuing on. This is how one gets sentences like, "I don't think my brother will come visit but isn't it nice to have a chauffeur?" My uncle is a lawyer. And we don't have a chauffeur.

At least the evening didn't end in tears. One must be thankful for these things.

*That's one of the many reasons I love you my darling BeakyPants