Adventures In KateLand

So, life with DoubleDee has been quite interesting lately. Yesterday she arrived home from 5 days in Boston with the BabyDaddy (whom we shall call Heston). Things were not all well and happy in Hestonland.

Apparently, he has another girlfriend. We shall call her Heifer, as that is what DoubleDee calls her. Anyway, DoubleDee and Heston were getting it on at his house when Heifer shows up pounding on the front door. Rumor has it that Heston’s good-for-nothing brother tipped her off about Dee’s presence. So, a good yelling match ensued.

Fortunately, as Dee and Heifer don’t have violent personalities, no one was stabbed, maimed, shot, or otherwise bloodied. Heston did, however, spend a chunk of time hiding in the shower. DoubleDee decided she was through with the whole thing (well, as much as she could be as Heston is the BabyDaddy). But then she remembered she has a high sex-drive and her other love (whom we shall for future reference call MrTasty) is very far away. So after ridding themselves of Heifer they proceeded to have sex for the next 2 days.

Tuesday, they showed up in my happy little world as Dee had a class. Anyway, Heston came in, said hi, and asked Dee if he can make a few calls. He used her phone card to call some people. Then he asked if he could crash in our room for a little while. Dee and I said it was okay. About 10 minutes after he started snoring, the phone rings. It was Heifer. GeniusHeston forgot to press *67 before calling her from our room. Dee went ballistic (understandably). Phrases such as, “That’s it nigga, get up and get the fuck out!” and, “I swear to Jesus that it’s over, and this time I swear to God I mean it,” were hurled about. I have to admit that I was quite amused when she began hitting him with a flip-flop. She chased him from the room and I settled back into my ongoing game of minesweeper with an admittedly bemused smile playing on my lips.

Perhaps 10 minutes later they both came back and fell asleep (Chipper, that is when you called me and why I couldn’t be very loud or talk much). Apparently God gets sworn to a lot to no avail.

Anyway, eventually Heston had to go to work. After he was gone I got the 2-½ hour version of DoubleDee’s life and loves (that’s when you called me back, Chipper, but I had forgotten to turn the ringer back on when I was in the shower, I’ll call you later tonight). Needless to say, the sagas of Heston and MrTasty are quite fascinating.

Although really, it was much more information than I ever wanted. I would have preferred to sleep, but that would have been rude. And I would have missed my opportunity to learn about the intricacies of the social structure in Haiti and Heston's use of plantain-as-sexual-aid (in truth I would have preferred sleep over hearing that story again).