The Alarming State Of My Ass
I dunno what exactly causes it, but living with my parents makes my ass expand at a terrifying rate.
A pair of jeans that a mere four weeks ago could have been removed without undoing the button or being unzipped are now getting noticeably tight. It’s quite disturbing.
I don’t eat any differently, or do a different amount of exercise, so I don’t really understand it.
Perhaps I have a subconscious fear that one night while I’m sleeping they’ll drug me and take me out and leave me in woods to fend for myself and I’ll need the extra ass to sustain myself until I figure out that hunting and berry gathering thing. Who knows?
If I do get left in the woods though, I probably won’t have any way of telling you. Just assume I’m out there making friends with bears and squirrels.
posted by SuperKate @ 11:59 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Its thermal expansion... ummm... because it's hot?
that didn't feel quite right. Probably shoulda kept my mouth shut, but I couldn't resist.
Essy: You have made me collapse in a puddle of giggles. Thank you for that. :0)
Beaky: What do you mean "if" I survive the wild? I'm perfectly capable to surviving in the wild. I would, however, most likely never be found or get out of the wild as I object to hiking. There are some things I just won't do.
Also, I'll only bring you back a squirrel if you promise not to put it in your pocket with Keiko. It would just be too crowded and the ASPCA* would get up in arms about it.
*The first time I typed that, it was ASSPCA
Yeah, this is true. Damn that psychic connection! Oh well, at least I can read your thoughts, too.
Post a Comment
<< Home