Update Of Sorts

Good morning darling blog. I know I have neglected you most horribly lately and for that I am sorry. Today was my first real day off for quite a while. I was supposed to have coffee with Chipper, but he had a wedding to attend (not his own, of course). Instead, I have spent the day pondering things and cursing the fact that I can't order movies on my TV.

Anyway, I'm still working at my hotel. This time for actual money. Unfortunately, to date, I still have not had sex in a random supply closet. I did have dinner with one of my co-workers the other night, though. I have no idea if it meant anything or not as he is a conservative enough muslim that he can't seem to make a move on anyone, despite having spent most of the last 10 years outside of his country. And the fact that he came home with me after dinner. How much more of a green light could I give him? Maybe I don't want to go there at all though, he gives terrible hugs so I can't imagine anything more would be that interesting. Oooh! His name is that same as Marmeduke's and he's from the same city. How weird is that?

Last week was rather interesting. One Tuesday, I accompanied one of my friends to Planned Parenthood so she could have an abortion. It was absolutely the right choice for the situation she is in (she's having an affair with one of her co-workers while being married to someone else she has not has sex with in over 2 years, plus she's on many medications for a medical problem, and she's been drinking a lot lately so the kid would have had a very small chance of being healthy), but I don't know how I feel about it. I think what bothers me most about it is how little whole thing has bothered her. I know a lot of women experience a sense of releif after the procedure, but she's taking it to an extreme. I know other women who 20 years later still have nightmares of blood red oceans crashing in on them while a small voice calls out "Mommy!"

Further complicating how I feel about it is the fact that I am an adopted child who was delivered by an abortion doctor. So, my life itself is a result of an obviously difficult choice. I guess that is what is really bothering me. I am here because a woman made a difficult choice and my friend rather flippantly made her choice without a second thought and doesn't give a damn. Had my birth mother been the same way, I wouldn't be alive today. I haven't always been happy to be alive, but at this moment now, I am glad that I am here. I'm glad I have the opportunity to live. I just wish my friend would seem to notice the gravity of the decision that she just made.

I've had my tense moments in the bathroom waiting the five minutes after peeing on a little stick, but I don't think I would ever be able to have an abortion. Don't get me wrong. I am eternally thankful that I have the choice to keep a kid or not. I just don't think I could do it.

Moving on...

A couple weeks ago I also lost my faith in men in general. We went out to Milo's (our improvised after work drinking place) to get trashed on a Wednesday night. A couple extra people from work showed up. One of them was a very sweet woman with a tendency to be a bit agressive with the males (and I should mention she is roughly the size of Hagrid). A guy came and sat with us who knew another member of our group. He was very obviously not interested in her in the least, and in fact seemed to be a bit scared of her. She kept flirting with him (she was drunk before we got to the bar) and started a flashing competition*. My two favorite co-workers bailed when the bar closed, but Hagridette was far too drunk to drive, so I had to take her home. Random Boy followed me back. Another couple came with us as well. So we were standing around in the living room and H looks at RB and says, "Kiss me now or lose me forever," and they started making out. Then the other couple started making (at which point the girl realized I was just standing there looking annoyed so she came over and kissed me, but that is a whole other story**).

Anyway, H and RB went off to the bedroom and I found myself quite confused and disappointed in the whole state of the art of romance. Are boys really that easy? He really wasn't into her when they met. Is drunken large pussy really that attractive after a beer? Where is the artistry in the conquest? I guess I just prefer a bit more flair in my pick-ups, and I don't like seeing people do it that artlessly. It's distasteful.

So that is my life in a nutshell at the moment. I'm going to Belgium in a couple weeks. And I'm not going back to Kyrgyzstan since I have to work in August.

*I will flash anyone, anytime, so long as there are no small children or cameras present

**For the record I still remain annoyed by the whole experience