Fluffy, Monkey

In an effort to ascertain whether or not anyone actually reads the "Daily Communication Tool" that we are forced to assemble every night, one of my managers* dared me to insert "Fluffy Monkey" somewhere into the obnoxious bit of busy work.

At first, "Fluffy Monkey Meatloaf" seemed to be the most obvious place to put the little furball, but then I figured it would be too obvious. So, Fluffy, Monkey became a VIP guest, lodged snugly in between an Indian gentleman and a Japanese dude.

I haven't been yelled at for it yet, not have I gotten any** angry emails from the GM, so I'm thinking no one ever actually reads the daily. Which means I can now start putting fun things in it like (under the HR advice section) "Managers should not sleep with their hourly employees***." Tee hee.

*No, not the one I'm sleeping with. He's on vacation****.

**I should perhaps say "anymore" angry emails since she loathes me.

***Managers who are sleeping with their hourly employees should also refrain from sleeping with their own boss in front of the hourly employee they're schtupping, but that's a whole other story

****He's pretending to be in Egypt so no one will bother him on the Nextel

Back From The Dead

Ewww, I haven't posted for a long time, have I?

Apologies.

Or something.

I just switched to night audit* at my job (yes, Kate can hold a job for almost a year, and counting, woohooo!) so now I have hours and hours in the middle of the night, between delivering guests' bills and running reports and things, when I can do silly things like type.

I am also wearing velvet pants. Who on the day shift gets to do that, huh?

Anyway, life has been interesting since I have abandoned the dear blog. I dropped out of school, but now I'm back (well, not now since we're on winter break, but classes start again on Monday). I still hate it passionately, but I'll have my associates at the end of February. And the whole friggin degree next November. Then I'm blowing this popsickle stand. Fiji is looking good right now. But I'm also open to the Seychelles. And other nice islandy types of places.

I got my nipples pierced in October. I show them off whenever I can**. They're really very delightful, I recommend them to anyone and everyone who has nipples. Guys think they're hot, and honestly, every time I see them in the mirror I have to refrain from fondling myself.

My mother's Alzheimer's has gotten much worse. She is now getting lost in malls on a regular basis. Why my father keeps letting her go to the mall by herself, I couldn't tell you.

I've also been sleeping with someone for 4 months that I shouldn't be sleeping with. I accept that it will happen whenever we drink together, it is half the reason I go drinking with him. Or to breakfast. Or to lunch.

For some reason, he is always surprised. I can't tell you how annoying it is to wake up next to someone who always*** says, "I thought we agreed we shouldn't do this anymore."

We're having lunch tomorrow. Should be interesting.

I have to go do actual work now though. Byeeeeee

*More money and fewer guests to deal with, what more could a girl ask for?

**I got snowed in at work twice in the last 2 weeks, and last Thursday, I was apparently showing them off to the entire banquets staff (I don't actually remember due to the half bottle of whiskey, bottle of vodka, and very large run and coke I had consumed)

***Well, not always, sometimes he simply indicates that morning wood is something that should not be wasted, a concept against which I cannot argue